COVID-19 has challenged me, changed my plans, and in a way changed who I am. If a 2020-2021 version of myself approached me in the last 5 years and told me what my life looks like today, I would have laughed in their face. Nothing could have prepared me for a two week break from school becoming an almost completely remote lifestyle a year later. Nonetheless, prepared me for entering my first “big girl job” from a computer.
The question “where do you see yourself in five years?” has been asked to me throughout my whole life. While the answer has changed many times, the changed version of my answer was always a base of being happily in college or in a job. I changed my mind about colleges, my major, and what future jobs I hope to have as long as my “normal” life stayed in-tact. My “normal” life was being around others on a daily basis, traveling, going out to eat, exploring with friends, being a standard college student living out their twenties. Now that that “normal” has been stripped away by COVID-19, I found myself to change not only my five year plan, but also my “normal”.
The new “normal” we all have faced this year is more than being bored at home and increasing our screen time. For many, it has slowly creeped into mental health struggles, family losses, and isolation. While I have found myself falling victim to those struggles, I write this blog to reflect and hopefully help others who have found themselves in the same place.
I have recently decided that rather than letting myself be angry at my new “normal” I figured it is time to take advantage of this extra time at home. As I am reflecting on the past year and who I have become, I realize that I am now more confident, mindful, and thankful. Without this year I would not have been confident enough to stay home on a night where everyone else was out or open up to others about my struggles. Those may seem like silly things to be insecure about, but the old “normal” early twenties girl I was had a priority of being the happy-go-lucky life of every party. Now, I am able to disregard others opinions of me and making choices that truly feel like me. I have always been a caring friend to have, but I now am mindful of every person I encounter because I know they might be secretly struggling. I now make sure to double and triple check up on old friends just to make sure they’re okay and let them know they’re loved. However most of all I am thankful. I am thankful for my ability to push myself through a hard time. I am thankful for extra nights spent at home with my family. I am thankful for my growth.
Rather than asking ourselves “where do you see yourself in five years?” we should shift to “what progress have you made this year and how do you want to implement it next year?” That shift in questions has allowed me to give myself more grace in the unknown and learn to embrace it instead.